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Just Keep Swimming....just ke------- [24 Mar 2004|07:43pm]
[ mood | devious ]

You are NEMO!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

I'm Nemo, who are you? TeeHee, I am happy, and I so don't know why I am so damn happy! LOL! Anyways, I forget what I was gonna say (after staring at the screen, wondering)....lol...umm, damn, and it was something important too! I got a 99% on my most recent Alg 2 test...OOOHH, I remember now, I customized Tommy's journal, which is www.livejournal.com/users/mymath_nerd go to that site, which u can see the pretty new colors, he likes green, as u will see. Anyway, I got brownie points for that, and my life next year WILL be a living hell...as of today!
Love, Kiana

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

What mythological form are you? [24 Mar 2004|04:24pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

I dont want to [23 Mar 2004|02:32pm]
[ mood | scared ]

please just understand that i cant fight
your battle any more
just give up
i admit i dont know who u are
and i really cant understand what u want
i just want u to leave
i cant believe u
just go away
i have to leave everyone
i dont know
what i will

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

Don't be stupid [23 Mar 2004|02:23pm]
Your Suicide.. by Konstantine
Your Name/Username
Favorite Number?
Favorite Color?
How will you commit suicide?You will sit in the garage with the car on and “listen to the lullabies of carbon monoxide”
How many tries will it take?57
When will you commit suicide?July 27, 2045
What will your suicide note say?"Mother, Father .. where did we go wrong?"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!
made me laugh.

It's just me isn't it? [23 Mar 2004|11:25am]
[ mood | crazy ]

Is it just me, or is Matt constantly over at Tommy's house, I can't take it any more, I NEVER get to talk to my boyfriend any more. What really sets me off is that I have talked to him about it, explained that I literally just drop my friends in the middle of something to see him, or talk to him whenever he calls, or whatever. I mean, I really can't stand it! It isn't right that when I want to see him or talk to him, I can't because Matt is there, but when he is bored, and Matt isn't there, and he wants to see me, I have to do it, or he will be mad at me! Is there an end to the madness????

On a more happy note, I didn't have school today, someone sent in bomb threats by e-mail to teachers saying that they were gonna "blow up the f*^%$#@ school and the kids in it too". Dr. Williams sent home letters saying what happened and telling everyone there would be normal school today. Mom however didn't want me to go, and no one else went either, at about six-thirty this morning they made the announcement on NBC that there would be no school today at GCHS or LOE, because it is so close to GCHS. Pretty fucked isn't it? Well, I guess, happy note, I didn't get any sleep, but, I do have a day to do nothing. I see my dad at the end of the day, and I am gonna go to Old Navy to get a bathing suit ( www.oldnavy.com ) and then Walmart to get tannning oil, my Aunt Sandy sent me a gift certificate to there because of my grades, and my enrollment in AP Stat and AP Bio, and because of my solo last month. *giggles* Well, I hope Tommy reads this because he won't listen to me when I talk to him online, and when I talk to him on the phone, he won't listen either....can i get it through to his smart brain, or am I too stupid?! Well...I guess that that is all I have to say, I'm gonna go...love everyone...kiana xoxo

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

to everyone [21 Mar 2004|04:09pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

hey everyone,
just wanted to let everyone know that i love them,
this includes ashley, leah, trina, tara, sarah, tommy(especially), mommy, daddy(not right now), eileen, grama, papa, griffy, jackie, jackie, jacquie, angela, meghan, ruthie, cheryl, kendra, jeffry, dave, well, u get it, just-everyone who loves me, i love them! Anywayz, gonna go get into the hot tub again, my number, if u want it comment on here, love to the world, im out, amanda/kiana/tommy's babi girl! xoxoxoxoxoxox.......and so on

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

Contact paper and fluid......... [20 Mar 2004|03:28pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Sound strange, yea well, it is!
I got my contacts yesterday
I get my new glasses sometime this next week, and I get to pick ym schedule for next year.
Everything for the past like 30 hourse feels meaningless, as if i am floating in a dream pool. So slow, dripping along. My contacts sucking themselves onto my eyes like contact paper...and me slossing them with rewetting drops because it is so FRGGIN DRY HERE RIGHT NOW! My thoughts.....what thoughts? Im like a blank canvas in a closet waiting for an artist that has died in his art-room, never-to-be-discovered. WOW! That was really emo-nistic...sry everyone..feeling empty and loveless....well, im gonna eat, see what there is to do tonight, take a shower at some point, but that means I have to take my contacts out again....OH WELL....
YAY, tommy just cam home, havent talked to him since well.....30 hrs ago...lol....
love u all, Kiana

made me laugh.

Other than that Mrs Lincoln........" " [15 Mar 2004|04:27pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

My draggy!
I got my draggy at http://howcute.cjb.net!!!
Get one!

heehee, isnt he just the cutest little dragon u have ever seen?! I think he's cute...lol. I went to an Everblades game friday, saturday i went to dinner, the beach for sunset, and then the movies and saw Secret Window *damn Skitzo*, trina spent the night *slurps and drurps*....teehee, it's a joke, im not creepy, most of the time....
well, sunday i went to country jam with twinkie, and BB, and then to Tommy's for dinner....Sean is mean. just accept is guys! Has ne one found out who wrote that comment about the last entry, it wasnt a suicide attempt, it was im gonna be dead because i left the dog outside....rotflmao...dumb-o's...lol. Today i was cleaning all day, i got squirted by steven and ant and ty with water guns, and they woke me and trina up at like 7 by knocking on the window....i dont know if i have band tomorrow, and some creep is calling me. I have been cleaning all day...and i didnt take my Zoloft and so....i have to have hand sanitizer!!!!!! and can ne one tell me how to make me font bigger????
im blind and cant read it!
i have an appointment wednesday, and get contacts-----maybe!
i have to-----"see" ash on tuesday, making mental notes...sry everyone
gonna go, love everyone, Kiana
%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

seeya lata [08 Mar 2004|04:14pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

Goodbye world
goodbye tommy
goodbye chocolate
goodbye shaun
goodbye trina
goodbye love
goodbye world

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

*sighs* [08 Mar 2004|03:13pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

I really don't grasp the concept of people, who insist on being such....what's that word.....traitors! This blog is about sarah, she decided that she wasn't going to show up at the sleepover that me, trina, and her had planned o so long ago.....instead...she decided to go to a gang bang/party/orgy/drug bust.....UHH...why must all my friends eventually betray me?!...Finny says that i am being EMO..and i dont know what she means by that.

tommiezgrl69: u cant have him...and u know it
luvhayte0350: yea i can...he is after all my boyfriend
tommiezgrl69: well, not ne more
tommiezgrl69: he doesnt love u, he only loves me...and thats just how it goes, ur in denile
luvahyte0350: well....lets see, he says that he doesnt know who u r...looks like u r in denile
tommiezgrl69: he loves me....see------>
T25243:I love u natasha, u know that

this is the hell i get for trying so hard in life?!
i guess i was daft to believe him after all...i love him SO damn much...cant believe that he would do that!
well...dont love ne one, im broken....KIANA*

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

Tommy [04 Mar 2004|05:39pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

This entire entry is dedicated to Tommy, because and only because I just realized how lucky I am to have him.

On February 22nd, of 1989, the person that I love the most was born. From that day on he was to be known as Thomas Scott Stephens Jr. and he was to meet me in the 8th grade. His father left his life very abruptly and because of that he was made emotionally stronger. To this day he still wonders why his father acted before he thought, put him through what he did, and now because of his daft actions, can no longer see his son, talk to him unsupervised, or even live near him any more. Tommy was given a baby brother about a year after his mother remarried. She married a man names Tom Conrecode, whom had 2 sons and a daughter. Tommy's baby brother, Griffith, is now two. Tommy now attends Gulf Coast High School, is happily attched to me, plays bass clairnet in the band, is on Mu Alpha Theta(math team), is very very smart, and lives in Naples, with his step father and mother, and baby brother Griffy.

I love you Tommy, so very very much. I won't make the mistake of losing you like Trina did with Justin. I promise to be with you for as long as it is in my power!
Love you all, Kiana/Tommy's baby

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

I might break a nail.......please...... [04 Mar 2004|03:40pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

Just please stick them up......I mean, I really need this money for my prom dress, please, lol. That's what me and trina call a band robbery. Teeeheee! Well, I guess that today was OK, me and tommy were spending alone time in the locker room in band today all period, it was fun, I love spending time with him, he is such a sweetheart. Last nite there was a problem tho, like, its hard to explain but actions speak louder than words....lets just put it that way. Talkin to kayleigh, shes scarin me, lol, mom says that im not supposed to talk to her or stacy, which makes sense because of the hateful things that her and kayleigh have been saying and writing to my mom! I love my bf........anyway....gonna go...c if my comments work...lata....love to the world....Kiana!

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

Just Recently [03 Mar 2004|07:02pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Well, since Tommy is now on the internet, I have to update my journal more often just so he can feed his nosy bug, lol. Ash hasn't bugged me about it lately, wonder if she's sick, she usually does. Oh Well. I'm supposedly "walking a thin line" with my mom. She thinks that I have a nasty attitude, I haven't done shit. I don't understand at all. It's like everyone hates me lately, and I have no clue how to react. Am I supposed to just go along with it, like it's normal for hate to overwhelm me? Am I supposed to fight it, struggle with it? What did I do to deserve this, and when will it end? Listening to my mom talk shit in the room right adjacent to me is quite offensive, I have to admit, if she values her privacy, and expects me to stay out of her room all the time, then maybe she should stay out of my things, my diary especially, thats really none of her business, and frankly, I don't think that I would ever do that to my daughter or son. She and Mike weren't home but 10 minutes and they were yelling at me about not having dinner ready, my "attitude", and staying out of their room, like I was some russian spy out to get them, to plot daft but shifty things against their valued privacy. Like I want to be in there, in the nicotine drenched lair they call a bedroom, on the sex-smelling, cum-stained, body-filthed bed and pillows, in the toxic, invisible, tempest cloud the consumes every body to enter the so-called domain they so value.
I am worried that Tommy doesn't love me any more....he may comment on that....heehee....anyways he really doesn't show it, and I know that those of u who follow, know that he does, but like, I mean that he doesn't express his love through actions, only through words, which implies that he only wants me for sex, of which he gets, which makes me even more scared, that the one with whom I lost my virginity, only wants me for what he gets almost every weekend.....i hope that wasn't too much of a shock to Kary, I love you dear.....
I am taking really hard classes next year, and so therefore my goal, im such a loser, is to have the highest GPA in my class....because I am taking 3 Ap courses, is this possible, the only thing that would be able to stop me would be Adam Gross, the ass face....well....gonna go, getting screamed at, even tho im not feeling the love, i still give some to the world.....and my lover....Tommy, Kiana

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

put a gun to my head now........ [10 Jan 2004|06:09pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

Well, this is harder than i dreamt it would be! Seeing justin and trina together, as an item, isnt a day at the park. I thought i was gonna really lose my cookies on friday, on the way home. I literally felt sick, like puking. Then her always interluding with things like, "Yea, we made out on the trampoline", and crap. Its harsh. Making out with someone for 2 wks in a row never had such daft consequences.....its fresh thats 4 damn sure. Im gonna go....feeling too much emotion never did ne one good.....Love ya, Kiana

PS......To Shaun...hope u get this......u hurt me real bad shaun, real bad....i was trying to tell u how i felt, and u threw it in my face, thats ok, its not like u havent done it before, bye.

made me laugh.

HeY hEy everyone! [05 Jan 2004|11:45am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I know its been 4evr and a day since I wrote last, and I apologize to those who care, not many i suppose! Anyway, not much has changed, me and Tommy are going on 3 months! WOO! I cant believe I actually broke up with him 4 justin, who used me, but lets not talk about that! Well, just wanted to write, have nothing better to do....gonna go eat, im HUNGRY!
Love the world 2 day.....Kiana!

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

Lets see [08 Nov 2003|12:50pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Lets see there isnt anything today except that I DONT LOVE SHAUN anymore im love wit tommy but shaun does still have a special place in my heart but only as a friend. We dont talk anymore but thats ok tho but im gonna go.........love to the world Kiana

made me laugh.

bored [06 Nov 2003|08:17pm]
[ mood | blank ]

hey everyone im really bored the only thing thats new about me is that me and justin broke up and im going out wit tommy WOOHOO but thats about it but wow its been a really long time since i last wrote but o well lol love ya lotz......Kiana

made me laugh.

Hey ppl........they said that we couldnt win! [11 Oct 2003|12:06pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

Whats new u ask....well, we won last nite, and i saw ash in the parade today too. Then like....im goin out wit justin!!!!! WOOO!!!! Finally im not grounded any more! HOpe this lasts for a while because i really like him. 5 guys asked me out yesterday.....its CRAZY! Anyway...well...gonna go, trina is gettin mad at me....love ya'll bye bye

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

So....im a whore am i?! [07 Oct 2003|05:57pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I heard from an unknown source that Kevin called me a whore, I find it convinient that i keep hearing things that kevin says and he doesnt seem to care much. Which isnt very comforting....at all! I really dont love him any more....he is being really mean. And i dont need that.....well im gonna go....with love....KiAna

%%messagecount went deaf andmade me laugh.

Reply to this..... [07 Oct 2003|02:59pm]
This really bothers me
Ok this is really botherin me and its really annoying but me and amanda dont talk much anymore because of kevin and justin we never do things anymore because of them and its really makin me upset cuz it seems like she only talks to me as if im her last resort and which im not it seems like she doesnt want me to know whats going on with her and it bothers me i know she loves (thinks for a sec)but its really annoying cuz i feel were drifting apart and i dontlike that but if we are then i guess we'll have to just let things happen the way they do..........NOT ONLY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really like my best friend hope but she has a b/f which is fine but im not emotionally ready for a relationship and i have a lot of problems i have to handle on my own cuz its somethin within me and not only that it seems like no one wants to help so i feel like im ALL ALONE AGAIN!!!!!!!! i mean yea i got my friends and everything but they cant know my problem there only one person who knows and thas C.J. but other than that no one knows cuz i cant tell anyone else cuz I DONT WANT ANYONE TO WORRY ABOUT ME and im in a lot of trouble and it seems i cant get out of it i mean with my problem and my girl troubles but i came a up with a solution to it all FUCK EVERYTHING IM TIRED OF TRYING IM GETTIN SICK OF IT IM JUST GONNA FUCKIN GIVE I HAVE LOST WHO I AM WHO I SHOULD BE IM NOT THE SAME FUCKIN PERSON AS I AM AND ITS SO FUCKIN ANNOYING!!!!!!! i guess ill have to seperate myself from everyone and find my inner self and what am i going to do...............im out


Well, well ,well.....shaun hun, u r wrong...u come first....y? Because I talk to u more than i talk to anyone about my problems....I completely understand that u feel like we are drifting apart and that we dont get to do anything at all together any more....and thats because NO one ever gets to do anything with me....im too busy, if u want, i have nothing to do this weekend....trust me, I would be thrilled to do something with you! I think that u need to talk to someone....me, hope, CJ, someone about ur problems, its hard to handle on ur own....im not tryin to piss u off...because i do love u to death hun....but trust me...it will help. Looks like the whole u likin Hope thing....will have to wait....shes got a man, but trust me, always be there for her and she will recognize that....love ya,amanda
made me laugh.

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